As parents, we always strive to make the best choices for our children, especially when it comes to their diets. Let's face it food is SUCH a personal choice! We want to give our kids every opportunity to grow and develop normally, and what we choose to feed them is definitely a huge part of that. I get it!

However, there comes a time when we need to loosen the reins and allow our kids to make their own food choices. As a long-time vegan, this was extremely difficult for me when I was a brand new mom... and I'm guessing I am not the only one who has struggled with this. Raise your hand if the power struggle over what you want your kid to eat and what they ACTUALLY eat hits close to home!  

One of the many things I have learned from raising two little kids in a manner that seems unconventional to most people, is that I can only control what I can control. What I mean is, in our home, 100% of the food you will find is vegan (meaning free of ANY animal products). This is what I choose to buy, send with my kids in their backpacks, offer to friends when they come over, and cook every single day. This is the part that I can control. 

But there are MANY, many other domains where I have had to realize that I don't run the show. And ultimately, my kids are going to grow up and make their own decisions. The autonomy that they need to do that and be successful, starts developing now when they are really small. So what have I learned from all of this?

Well, I can approach these difficult situations in one of two ways... 

Option 1: Try and keep them from eating anything that isn't vegan and freak out if they happen to try something that I don't approve of. I think there are people in the vegan community who would judge me for not approaching situations this way. But, what are the pro's and cons? To answer this question we have to consider that in the long run, my child's relationship with food will be a complete reflection of how I manage these situations. If I am judgmental, stressed, upset, or controlling when it comes to new foods they want to try, what will they gain from that? Probably not a lot of positive associations, and probably a blow to their self-image, self-confidence and ability to make choices without guilt. That's certainly NOT the message I want to send them.

Option 2: I can practice fully relinquishing control. The key word here is PRACTICE. If you know me, you know I am not great that giving up control. I like to be in charge, make the plans, get things done. It's just in my DNA. But I have learned that giving up the power struggle is the best way to allow my kids to explore, experiment and make their own informed decisions. If I want my kids to grow up and be vegan, they are going to have to choose to do that for themselves. So its my responsibility to help them understand the choices that we make at our house as parents, and do my best to impart our values... but just like kids who grow up to reject a religion... my kids may choose a totally different path! As their mom, its not my responsibility to shame their decisions, its my job to accept them for who they are. 

So long story short, how to we approach birthday parties, family gatherings, festivals, outings, etc?

We let our kids choose what they want to eat. And we don't judge them, shame them, or stress out if it's not vegan 100% of the time. At home it is, and that's the very best I can do.

That being said, do I generally try and pack all of our food before we leave the house in the morning? YES! 

Do I bring a delicious, nutritious dish to share when we are invited to a party or family meal? YOU BET!

But in the course of their lives our kids will have COUNTLESS opportunities for a negative interaction related to their food choices. Instead of adding to the shame or guilt, be the person who creates a safe space for your child when it comes to their food choices. They might not thank you now for it, but later they will!

 Oh yeah.. and SPEAKING of CAKE, grab my free Vegan Pumpkin Spice cake recipe here.

If you’re serious about starting a plant based diet for your family, you should download my insanely useful 21 Day Plant Based Challenge.

For 1-on-1 help with lifestyle change, click here